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It’s the Sweat dries blood clots bones heal only strongest women become firefighters shirt and I love this opposite, in part, because Kilgariff and Hardstark’s driving force is empathy. Though true-crime audiences skew female, the actual storytelling has been historically male-dominated. “It’s a relatively new thing that women are the ones having the conversation—we usually listen to men tell us how it went,” Kilgariff notes. Her true crime obsession started in the ’90s, when the tone of the conversation was, as she puts it, “a little wonky. It was all about Ted Bundy being so fascinating and ‘isn’t Richard Ramirez hot’ and people buying John Wayne Gacy’s artwork. And even back then, yeah, I read all these books because I was interested in it, but I think owning a painting by John Wayne Gacy would be the most creepy, haunted fucking thing you could do. Why would you want to look at that? That’s so bad for you!”

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My Favorite Murder, by contrast, centers the Sweat dries blood clots bones heal only strongest women become firefighters shirt and I love this victims of crime—not the perpetrators. Many of the most beloved episodes focus on survivor stories, while others add dimension to the lives of victims, exploring the layers of trauma a violent crime leaves on individuals, families, and whole communities. It’s an approach shared by Michelle McNamara’s extraordinary posthumous book I’ll Be Gone In The Dark, which is both a gripping chronicle of the Golden State Killer’s spree and a searing memoir about the psychological toll of crime obsession. McNamara, whose work is referenced often on MFM, eloquently describes the strange feeling of being truly, painfully invested in a long-unsolved case to which she had no personal connection. Far from rubbernecking, Kilgariff describes this as “a holding of a terrible thing”—making space within yourself for the experience of the victims and the horror they endured.

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